Circle of Fire
by Acidbuk
Summary: a Tale of faith, Deceit and Love in the Life of Shinji Ikari. - Complete, R
1. Why have you forsaken me?

Author: Kenny Mcomic  
  
Title: the Circle of Fire  
  
Shout outs: big thanks to Will Z, Buzz, and Shattered Sponge for Pre- reading this story, thanks guys.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Eva or its Characters, they belong to Gainex, so please don't sue me.  
  
Chapter 1: Why have you forsaken me?  
  
The four of them were sat at the table. Both Touji and Asuka looked at Shinji expectantly. He looked into Hikari's eyes, it had been the plan from the start, but now time had come to end it. "I.I. I can't", Shinji sobbed as he ran from the table bolting around a corner. Ha came to rest at one of the boarded School entrances or exits, it didn't really matter which. He sat down on the stone steps trying to figure out what just happened.  
  
*****  
  
It had been a simple plan, one he had every intention of going through with until five minutes ago. It wasn't long before Hikari had joined him on the steps, she sat down next to him flattening her dress as she did so.  
  
"What's wrong Shinji?" Hikari asked. "I, just couldn't do it", he answered. "Why not?" Hikari replied. "The thing is when we started this I knew exactly what I was getting into and was confident I could stick to my part of the plan", he paused to let her digest the information. "But as I really started to get to know you, we started to open up to each other, I started to like you, I like you a lot. I don't want this to end", he spoke slow and concise. "I see", was Hikari's only response. "When I'm with you I'm not alone anymore, I don't want to be alone again, I don't want to lose you", Shinji admitted.  
  
"We started this relationship to get Touji jealous enough to ask me out, I think we've done that. That's all it was to me", Hikari paused seeing the hurt in his face; "at least at first, I didn't think that WE actually might develop feelings for each other", Hikari stopped again seeing the hurt gone but replaced by hope, hope she would now have to crush. "However, I still like Touji a lot, I think I might be in love with him and I have to give that a chance", Hikari finished what she was saying but added on; "What about Asuka? She likes you".  
  
"The only time Asuka shows any affection towards me is when Rei is around. Asuka hates Rei, I don't know why, that's her problem., She thinks that me and Rei are having a relationship", Shinji paused; "She thinks that by throwing herself at me in front of Rei is hurting her. Any other time to Asuka I'm just the 'Idiot' or the 'moron' or a 'pervert'", Shinji continued; "As for liking me, Asuka likes Kaji, herself and maybe you, but that's it", Shinji Finished.  
  
They didn't know that a certain female red head had been listening to there conversation. "We should go back and finish this?" Hikari forced out.  
  
**** They arrived at the courtyard in plain view of Touji, Hikari looked into Shinji's eyes and spoke. "I'm sorry for what I'm going to do", Hikari leaned in and kissed him. "I understand", Shinji replied fighting back tears. Seconds after Hikari Slapped him in the face and shouted "Consider yourself dumped!" the line was loud enough for anyone nearby to hear including one Touji Suzuhara who started grinning like an idiot.  
  
Shinji ran off straight out of the schoolyard and onto the busy streets of Tokyo-3. "I'll go after him" Touji spoke standing up. "No, I will", Asuka spoke making her way to the front gate. "No Asuka", Hikari spoke up; "Shinji is in a fragile place right now, he doesn't need your tactless insults", Hikari spoke. "Fine", Asuka grunted grudgingly. 'Shinji I hope you understand, I hope you can forgive me', Hikari thought. "What's his problem?" Touji spoke more to himself than anyone. "You really don't get it, do you moron?" Asuka barked. Touji shook his head confirming to Asuka that he had no idea. "He's giving up something that means a lot to him for YOU", Asuka spoke softer this time; "Shinji is a good person, he's one of your best friends, if you tell him I said that stooge I WILL kill you", Asuka barked out the last bit.  
  
**** Shinji sat on the park bench crying into his hands, he had no idea why he had stopped here or why he came here in the first place. He never noticed the girl ask if she could sit next to him, or when she took his silence as a yes and did sit.  
  
"Is there something wrong?" she spoke softly yet still monotone. "Yes", He swallowed hard; "I just broke up with a girl" "I see, this is sad?" she asked. "I am sorry, I do not understand". Shinji turned to see the familiar face of Rei Ayanami "You and the commander are close?", Shinji asked not looking away. Rei nodded and Shinji continued; "Well what if one day the commander decided not to talk or bother with you anymore at all, how would it make you feel?" Rei paused for a moment considering the question then answered, "I would feel, sad, angry, unsettled". Shinji nodded; "That's how I feel". "I understand, I will leave you alone with your emotions", Rei spoke standing to leave, Shinji did something unexpected even to him, he grabbed her hand "Please stay, it helps to have someone to talk to", he said looking at her. She nodded and returned to sitting.  
  
There was a long silent pause before anyone spoke, but it was Shinji that broke the silence. "Everyone I ever cared about is either dead or has abandoned me" Shinji paused although she gave no outward sign of it he knew she was paying attention. "Mother dead, Father Abandoned me, auntie and uncle didn't really give a damm, teachers the same, Kawour Dead, and now Hikari has left me too", Shinji said slowly. "I'm still here Shinji", Rei said softy. Shinji nodded and held her hand tightly.  
  
***** Back at Misato's apartment its occupants were getting worried, well Misato was getting worried Asuka was just getting angry.  
  
"Where is he, it's not like him to stay out late like this", Misato paced. "Geeez Misato, Stop with the pacing, you're going to create a hole in the carpet", Asuka spoke smugly. "Are you sure you don't know where he is Asuka?" Misato asked. "Why the hell should I care about the idiot", Asuka snapped back. "He is your fellow pilot and he is your friend", Misato snapped back losing her patience with the second child. "After what he said to Hikari about me, I don't think we are anything NEAR friends", Asuka shot back bluntly. "What do you mean Asuka?", Misato asked trying to calm her anger. "He and Hikari went of for a private chat, I followed them, My name came up, he said that the only people I like are Kaji, Myself and MAYBE Hikari anyone else don't stand a chance", Asuka reported. "I wonder where he got that idea from", Misato said sarcastically. "You think he's right don't you", Asuka spat out. Misato didn't respond to the Second's insinuation but started pacing once again.  
  
****  
  
"Are you certain Major Katsuragi will not be worried", Rei spoke in her monotone. "Misato? I don't know, but to be honest I don't really care what people think anymore", Shinji answered honestly. "I see", was her only response. "Say, you want some Ice cream?" he asked pointing the stand near by. "I have never had Ice cream before", Rei replied. "You've never had Ice cream? Then come on", he said pulling her along to the stand.  
  
They arrived at the stand within a few minutes, it wasn't as far away as it looked. The woman behind the counter was quite old she wore a white apron and hat. "Can I help you?" the woman asked flatly. "Two Ice cream swirls with a Flake please", Shinji replied.  
  
The woman handed over the two cones filled with the delicious substance and a flake propped vertically from the top to Shinji after he paid the money for them.  
  
Shinji and Rei started to walk back towards the bench when he handed her one of the cones. Rei looked at the cone curiously for several seconds. She then looked at Shinji who had already eaten the flake and was licking around the cone with his tongue picking up the ice cream. She attempted to imitate his actions.  
  
By the time they made it back to the bench most of there Ice creams were gone. Shinji and Rei mercilessly finished the cone and sat back down. Shinji looked at Rei and started to giggle.  
  
"Do you find something amusing about my appearance Ikari?" she asked without a hint of annoyance but more confusion. "You have a little..", Shinji trailed off as he wiped the spot of Ice Cream from her nose. "T-Thank you", she returned hesitantly.  
  
"Do you mind if I ask you a question Ayanami?" He asked a little unsure of himself. "Proceed, providing what you ask is not classified I will do my best to answer", she said monotone. "What is that you wear on your wrist? It's the only thing I've seen you wear that's not either part of your school uniform or a plug-suit", Shinji asked letting a hint of curiosity slip into his voice. "It was given to me as a child, since that time I have only taken it off when I shower, I wear it everywhere", She replied. "Everywhere? Even sync tests?" he asked. "Yes Ikari, even sync tests", She replied with a slight smile. "You smiled", Shinji asked in complete surprise. "Is that not the appropriate response when you are happy?", Rei asked. "Well Yes", Shinji paused; "Its just the first time I have seen you do it with someone other than the commander", Shinji added. "That is because I am rarely happy when I am not with the commander, however this is one of those occasions", she responded. "You mean I made you happy?", Shinji asked still shocked slightly. "Yes", Rei nodded to affirm her answer. "Tell me Ikari, how did you and Miss Horaki become.", Rei paused for a moment to search for the right word. "Close", she finally added. "Well Ayanami it started about 2 weeks ago.", Shinji started.  
  
******  
  
The Class had begun to file out. As usual Touji, Kensuke and Shinji were planing to go to the arcade and play the newest games. "I Get first go on Mecha-Blaster 8", Kensuke called out to the two boys. "Ok, as long as me and Shin-man here get first go on the new multi player version of Tank Rumble", Touji spoke back to the smallest of the three. "Fine, you drive a hard bargain", Kensuke agreed.  
  
They almost made it out of the door when Hikari called them back; "Hey Shinji can I speak to you for a few minutes?" Shinji looked a little hesitant about the conversation but called out "Sure I guess". "Good luck Shin-man", both Touji and Kensuke spoke in unison. "We'll keep your place for you", Kensuke called back as he waved.  
  
"What's the matter Hikari?", Shinji asked.  
  
Hikari ignored him for the time being and made her way to the door looking both ways then coming back. "I'm sorry about that but I wanted to make sure we weren't being eavesdropped on", she apologised. "I understand", he said nodding. "I need to ask a favour of you?" Hikari spoke nervously. "Ok, sure, What do you need?" Shinji replied. "I need you to ask me out on a date", Hikari said flatly. "Excuse me!" Shinji almost spat out. "It's not what you think. As you may know I have a crush on Touji, and I'm pretty sure he likes me as well, but for some reason he won't ask me out", Hikari paused; "if we can make him jealous maybe he will get up the guts to do it", she finished.  
  
Shinji paused before speaking as if trying to process the information he was given and more importantly what he was asked to do. "I don't know Hikari, Touji is my friend, I don't feel right messing with him like that", Shinji decided the honest approach was the best. "It won't be a real date Shinji. All you have to do it take me out a few times and brag about it to Touji and Kensuke every chance you get", Hikari waited for a response when she received none she pressed further; "It's a simple plan, what could go wrong?" she asked. "A lot could go wrong, what if you and I become too close for a start?" he asked bluntly. "Shinji, Okay I will find someone else who will help me, I just thought as Touji's friend you would want to see him happy", Hikari said matter of factly, she had pulled her ace in the hole, if that didn't do it nothing would. "Okay I'll do it, when do we start?" he asked flatly. "Tonight, pick me up at five", Hikari spoke; "Dinner and a movie" "Fine", he replied.  
  
With that they both went there separate ways. Shinji headed for the arcade and Hikari made her way home to get ready for her 'date'.  
  
When Shinji arrived at the arcade he looked around for Touji and Kensuke to tell them the news. "Hey Shin-man over here", Kensuke yelled from a game in the corner of the room. "So what did Hikari want with you?" Touji asked. "Yeah Shin-man, I hope you didn't get roasted too badly", Kensuke chirped. "Actually I have a date with her tonight", Shinji spoke. "Way to go Shin-man", Kensuke spoke; "remember I want details. and photos" Touji never said a word but his face fell into a frown ' Maybe this will be easier than I thought' Shinji chimed seeing his friends reaction.  
  
****  
  
The sun had long since gone down from when Shinji had began recounting his story to Rei "That is it?", Rei asked at the sudden pause in the tail. "No it's just I thought you may like a break from my ramblings", Shinji chuckled. Rei nodded and was about to speak when her pager started beeping, she took one look at the message and stood. "I apologise Ikari I must go" Rei spoke. "Where?", Shinji was worried as it was well past midnight. "NERV", Rei replied in monotone. "However if you would like to continue this discussion tomorrow please come to my apartment", she offered showing a bit more emotion than her previous statement. "Ok, Thank you Rei I mean Ayanami", Shinji spoke nervously. "Rei is acceptable and you are welcome", She spoke before running of toward NERV headquarters.  
  
Shinji had sat on the bench for another hour before deciding to returns to Misato's apartment, he knew that he had would be in trouble for staying out so late and not calling but the 'black suits' as he called them would take care of his safety.  
  
He arrived at the apartment, he hesitated to open the door but slowly slid his NERV lock card through the reader and the door opened. As he entered he called out quietly "I'm home, not that anyone cares", it was his usual mantra as he crossed the threshold of his home. He went straight to his room turned on his SDAT and slept.  
  
****  
  
Shinji awoke about 6:30am, no one was up yet he decided now was as good a time to make breakfast as any other. He swung his legs around to the side of the bed.  
  
"Another day. I guess that means were still here", he spoke aloud.  
  
After he cooked breakfast for himself, Misato and Asuka, he made Asuka's lunch and decided to head out before they awoke, as he was about to leave a voice called him back, "Shinji", she said, "where were you last night", Asuka finished. "Out", was his only reply as he left and shut the door.  
  
"The next time he comes back I want some answers!" she screamed. "Who?", Misato said through a yawn heading for the fridge for a beer. "The idiot, who else?", Asuka replied sarcastically. Misato knew instantly whom Asuka was talking about; "Shinji was here?" "That's what I just said, he made us breakfast and left, you just missed him actually", Asuka said in a non-caring tone. "I see, I need to make a phone call", Misato said briefly.  
  
Misato picked up the handle and dialled after a few moments a cold and male voice responded from the other end.  
  
"Yes", he said sounding annoyed to have been called at such an hour.  
  
"Sir, Its about the Third Child", Misato spoke.  
  
"Has he run away again?", he asked no hint of annoyance in his voice but much hesitance.  
  
"No, well I don't think so, he came back made food and left again", Misato answered.  
  
"Did he say anything?", he replied.  
  
"He spoke to pilot Souryu, not myself", Misato informed.  
  
"Put Pilot Souryu on", he commanded.  
  
Misato left the phone and returned to the Kitchen where Asuka was making an impressive job of demolishing her breakfast. Whatever else Asuka thought of Shinji she knew he was a damm good cook even though she would never admit it to anyone.  
  
"Asuka", Misato waited for some sign that she was paying attention then continued; "Commander Ikari would like to speak with you", Misato said in a tone that reamed of 'don't you dare say no'. Asuka's only reaction was to swallow the food she was currently chewing, hard.  
  
"As---Pilot Souryu speaking sir", Asuka said uneasily. The commander was a hard person to talk to even when fully prepared, it was even worse when you were not.  
  
"Souryu, I understand you spoke with the third child", Gendou spoke. Asuka picked up on the discomfort in his voice and was relived that she was not alone.  
  
"Y-yes, but all he said was one word 'out'", Asuka informed.  
  
"I see", was Gendou's only expression; "Inform Major Katsuragi. To make contact with the third child, we cannot afford to lose him"  
  
Asuka was furious and had she been speaking to anyone other than the commander, she would have ripped the offending person to shreds. But she knew that Commander Ikari has killed men for less and so remained silent.  
  
Gendou becoming frustrated with Asuka for not confirming she understood prompted with a "Is that understood Pilot Souryu?", Gendou emphasising the word 'pilot'  
  
Her only response was a half-hearted "yes" with that the commander hung up  
  
"Misato, the commander said to make contact with the Idiot", Asuka passed along. Misato nodded in understanding as Asuka shivered.  
  
****  
  
Shinji had walked to the city limits 'black suits' in tow, It always amazed him that a rich powerful organisation like NERV would spend very little time training its agents in subtlety.  
  
As he looked out over the city he remembered the first time he came here, it was with Misato after he defeated the Angel. He remembered what Misato had said to him *** "This is the City you Saved Shinji, OUR city", she paused "I'm very proud of you." "I. I just wish he had said that to me", Shinji sobbed out. ***  
  
Shinji winced thinking about his father, a topic he didn't like to think about on a good day let alone right now. He picked up a rock and threw it as fast and hard as he could away from him.  
  
His Cellular phone rang in his pocket, he didn't answer, he needed to be alone right now, and He needed to just think things through. One of the 'black suits' nodded a couple times after receiving a message from his ear- piece. After a few more nods he started to walk towards the third child from where he was standing.  
  
"I guess they been told to bring me in", he muttered to himself. To his surprise the 'black suit' spoke softly and gently for someone who worked for NERV. "I have been asked to pass on a message", the black suit said; "they have scheduled a sync test tomorrow afternoon, Major Katsuragi has asked that you attend". The black suit finished.  
  
"Major Katsuragi also asked me to give her your current location". Shinji went silent; "I refused" the black suit replied. "T-Thank you", Shinji stammered out as the man returned to his previous position.  
  
Shinji stood there for most of the Morning just staring out at the city, he watched as life went on as normal, no on would miss him. If he jumped right now no one would care, it would be so easy to end this existence, so why don't I want to?  
  
****  
  
When he started to return to the city he decided to take up Rei on her offer and made his way to her apartment. He arrived and still couldn't quite believe anyone lived here even though he knew she did.  
  
"Rei", he said opening the still unlocked door; "must do something about that", he muttered to himself as he entered her apartment. To his surprise it was quite a bit cleaner than the last time he had visited.  
  
"Rei", he called out, but no response came.  
  
"Rei are you in here", he re-affirmed "I am here Ikari", said the soft voice of Rei from Behind him, startling him slightly "You are here to finish our conversation from last night?", Rei asked as she sat on the bed. Shinji Nodded and was about to speak when Rei interrupted; "You may sit Ikari", she said simple motioning for him to sit next to her.  
  
Shinji sat down on the bed next to Rei, and started to recount the events of the past week from where he left off.  
  
*****  
  
"So shin-man", Kensuke began; "where you taking our beloved Class Rep", he finished. "Well we agreed on something simple", Shinji answered; "Dinner and a movie, I pick her up at five today". "Good luck, shin-man", Kensuke spoke with glee. "Thanks", Shinji responded. "I meant for the game, I'm gonna kick your ass", Kensuke replied.  
  
After an hour of playing the multi-player games it was obvious that Kensuke was true to his word, when the score was 10-4 Shinji decided to call it a day and headed out leaving his two friends to play some more.  
  
He looked at the NERV issued watch it read 4:45pm. "Only 15 minutes left, there will be no turning back then", he muttered to himself. He started to walk towards Hikari's apartment block. He passed people as they went about there business. Cars zoomed past on the busy streets of Tokyo-3.  
  
He entered the building and pressed the button for the elevator it took serveral minutes to arrive making a 'ding' as the doors slid open. Shinji stepped inside pressing the button. He watched as the doors slid back into place and the elevator moved upwards.  
  
It took another few minutes before it arrived at the floor making another 'ding' as it did so. He stepped out and walked along the corridor. When he reached the door one thought entered his mind; "This is the point of no return." Steadying his nerve and resolve he knocked softly at the door. Hikari opened it and stepped out. Holding her jacket in her hand. Shinji looked in awe of this almost heavenly sight before him. Before his brain could regain control of his mouth one word escaped; "wow". Hikari flushed deeply.  
  
She was wearing a black Mini-dress, her hair was dropped lose over her shoulders and she was wearing high heal shoes. "Ho---how come I've never seen you dress like this before?", Shinji said aloud. "You only ever see me at school or when I visit Asuka", she responded flatly. "Well, you look great", he complemented. She flushed again. Then they began the walk to the elevator.  
  
*****  
  
Rei was attentively listening to the story being told and wondered why Shinji had stopped so suddenly. "Is there something wrong Ikari?", she asked.  
  
"Is it ok of we skip over the actually date?", he asked hesitantly. "Why?", Rei replied mater-of-factly. "Well we talked about things that I wouldn't feel comfortable telling anyone, things said in confidence, and.", Shinji was cut off in mid- sentence "I understand Ikari", Rei replied. "The date did go well though, I will tell you that, it was one of the best times I've had in a while". Shinji spoke; "One thing led to another and with each date we got closer at least I thought we did but.", Shinji paused finding the last words difficult to say. "But she still loves Touji, now my 'usefulness' is over, I was thrown away like-- like a toy", Shinji's anger was apparent in his voice.  
  
Rei simply put a hand on his shoulder and pulled him closer to her. The look on her face said that she had no Idea why she had just done what she did, it almost seemed like instinct. Instead of pulling away he just let her hold him as he cried.  
  
For an hour or so they sat like that neither of them saying anything. Until Rei finally broke the comfortable silence; "would you like to stay here tonight?" He though about it, yes he wanted to stay but spoke; "That wouldn't be a good idea, people would think that--". She cut him off for the second time today; "I do not care what people think, we would both know the truth that is all we need", Rei said flatly. Shinji pondered this for but a moment before nodding.  
  
"I will sleep on the floor" Shinji said any anger now gone. "You will sleep in the bed", Rei spoke mater of factly. "I don't think It would be appropriate to share the bed Rei", Shinji reasoned to no avail. "This is my apartment is it not?", Rei asked. A silent nod was her only response. "Then _I_ will decide what is appropriate here". Rei said without any room for negotiation. Shinji reluctantly nodded. "Then it is decided", she said lying down to sleep, literally pulling Shinji beside her.  
  
*****  
  
Next Episode  
  
What Will Shinji do now he has been shown that someone does care for him, will he go back Misato or will he stay with Rei. Find out in the next Chapter of Circle of Fire 


	2. Changes

Chapter 2: Changes ***** People say that things change so fast. That's not true, things change slowly but by the time we notice things changing, its too late to ever go back to the way things were before.  
  
*****  
  
"Shinji were you been?", Asuka asked as soon as he came though the door. Shinji swallowed hard and spoke "I been reliving the past" "What kind of answer is that?", Asuka snorted; "you been with wonder girl haven't you?", Asuka said with contempt.  
  
Shinji didn't bother defending himself he just turned away giving her a side profile of his face, it was the only time she had ever seen him do that.  
  
"My god, you really were with wonder girl", Asuka spoke. The anger falling out of her voice replaced with shock. Asuka just pushed him down onto the floor and yelled "You IDIOT, Wonder Girl is welcome to you!", Asuka ran to her room and slammed the sliding door.  
  
Misato heard the commotion and came out of her room. She startled a bit on seeing Shinji, "AH, Shinji, You scared the crap out of me", Misato said.  
  
Shinji didn't respond his hair and cloths were wet from the rain, he turned and headed for the door without saying a word. By the time he got to the door Misato had grabbed his arm pulling him to face her.  
  
"Misato, I'm leaving", he said simply. "I can see", she replied. "No you don't, I'm moving out", he clarified. "Shinji", she said; "why?" "This is the closest thing I've had to a home in a long time, it was a place where I could be me, no one expected anything of me here, I could lower my defences"  
  
"So why are you leaving If you feel so at home here?", Misato was Genuinely confused then a thought struck her; "Is it because of what happened". "I would NEVER leave because of that, the truth is its Asuka", Shinji answered, the hurt showing in his eyes at the implication briefly before his mask returned. "Auska?", Misato said shocked. "Asuka treats me almost sub human, I can't lower my defences here anymore, I can't live like that anymore, I need a place where I can be me", Shinji said simple.  
  
"Are you moving in with Rei then?", Misato asked cautiously. "You two seem to get on well". "We do, she offered but I turned her down", Shinji replied. "Oh I see", Misato said with an almost disappointed tone in her voice. "Misato, don't look so disappointed, you are always welcome to stay with me anytime you like", Shinji smiled. "If I didn't know better, I would say you were propositioning me", She teased with a wink. "Misato, you know what I mean", Shinji defended. "I know", she said with another wink.  
  
Misato smiled, it was nice to see some of the boy she used to know come back to the surface, if only for a moment as his mask fell away. He had been so closed when they had first met. Just like his father he wore an emotionless mask, it would scare him if he know how much he and his father had in common. However as they got to know each other he started to drop the mask around her and only her, anyone else would see the Shinji he wanted them to see. Even Ritsuko remarked that when he was at the apartment he was a different person and he never completely opened up when anyone visited. There was still apart of him he kept hidden from everyone else. She honestly thought that as he got to know Asuka he would open up to her also, I guess he just got sick of the constant humiliation and belittlement.  
  
"Would you like to see my new apartment?", he asked simply. Breaking Misato out of her thoughts. "Sure", She replied; "if you don't mind?", She asked. "Its not a problem for me, do you have something else to do?" he responded.  
  
"Nothing that can't wait, let me just get my jacket", she said as she walked to the coat rack. Out of the corner of her eye she spotted a Plastic bottle of water on the floor, she picked it up, It was still warm where it had been held only moments earlier. "Asuka", she whispered aloud. "Is something wrong Misato?", Shinji asked concerned. "No nothing at all", Misato said Grabbing her jacket and following Shinji out of the Door.  
  
After a few minutes and she was certain she would not be seen Auska grabbed her Jacket and followed Misato and Shinji covertly.  
  
*******  
  
Hikari was busy planing her date with Touji they had eventually decided to see a movie for there first date after much deliberation now they were trying to decided which movie.  
  
"How about Rocky 5000?", Touji Suggested; "Or Terminator 10?", he added. "Well that new Romance movie looks good, don't you think?" Hikari countered. Actually Touji had already seen it and in his mind admitted it was good since it made him break down and cry like a little girl, of course he would never admit that to anyone else.  
  
"What?", Kensuke interrupted; "the guy dies slowly and painfully, what on earth is romantic about that?", Kensuke asked rhetorically; "how about that new Dragon Ball Z movie?", Kensuke suggested.  
  
"What on earth are you talking about Aida, the last one was just an hour and a half of the main cast looking in shock as the Villain Glowed then Grew, More shocked looks then more Glowing, you get the idea", Hikari replied.  
  
"Well according to this", Kensuke replied tapping his computer Keyboard; "this one has some action scenes". "But how many movies has this "Saga" lasted anyhow?", Touji asked sarcastically. "meh, six or seven", Kensuke replied. "Will you two shut up about Dragon Ball Z, its not that good anyway", Hikari spoke with a satisfied smile. "BLASPHEMER!" both Kensuke and Touji shouted in unison. "Well you can find a movie without my help then", Kensuke said as he pushed his Spectacles over the bridge of his nose. "I'm sorry Aida, we really do need your help", Hikari said with slight emphasis she crossed her fingers hoping it was enough. "Well, I never could turn down a pretty girl", Kensuke said mentally cursing he weakness.  
  
Over the last two days Hikari had done a lot of thinking, she loved Touji yes, there was no doubt in her mind now, but what about Shinji. She felt like she couldn't just leave him like that but at the same time she knew that's exactly what she must do if he is to get through this.  
  
*******  
  
As Misato and Shinji walked through the streets of Tokyo-3, Shinji silently was leading her to his new apartment. "Shinji. Were being followed", Misato said without breaking stride. "I know, I spotted her a couple blocks back", Shinji whispered. "Oh, Its Asuka isn't it?" she replied back. "Yes, I figured you'd spot her", he replied mater of factly. They continued to walk to the apartment in silence.  
  
Asuka had no idea she had been spotted, any professional would have known but she was no professional. 'Do I really treat him so bad he would move, she thought. It was the first time in two days she really had time to think about all the things that she had heard Shinji say to both Hikari and Misato. 'Sub human, Don't like anyone, belittling, I will show you Third child', Asuka mentally vowed.  
  
Misato and Shinji arrived at their destination a medium sized apartment block the windows was nicely sized and the door had both an old fashioned Key-lock and a Card slider. Shinji opened both locks and opened the door. As they both stepped inside Shinji closed the door.  
  
Shinji made dinner and drinks, after some hours of polite conversation Misato completely took Shinji by surprise; "Shinji, Could I stay here tonight?", Misato asked. Needless to say Shinji was stunned and it was several minutes before he answered. "Sure". "Can I sleep with you?", Misato asked.  
  
"Misato I thought you said..", Shinji was cut off.  
  
"I don't mean like that", Misato looked to one side; "not like before, I mean just Sleep by your side", Misato Clarified.  
  
"Sure Misato, that would be fine", he smiled as he lay on the bed, Misato lay down next to him, they both starred at the ceiling.  
  
"Another unfamiliar ceiling", Misato whispered.  
  
"Yes", he said back in an equally quiet tone "the difference is this time I chose it", he finished. To which she smiled and said "I'll miss you, you know?"  
  
"I know", was his only reply before they both fell asleep.  
  
***** The following morning Shinji awoke to a snuggling Misato. In the course of the night she had moved herself so her head was on his chest and her arms draped over him. If it had been anyone else other than Misato in this position Shinji would have felt uncomfortable. As it was however Shinji drifted back off to sleep.  
  
When Shinji woke again Misato was gone in her place was a white envelope there was no markings of any kind on it but he knew it could only be for him.  
  
*****  
  
When Misato came back to her apartment a very tired Asuka confronted her. "Rough night Asuka?", Misato spoke not letting on she knew anything. Asuka yawned out "not as late as you Misato"  
  
"What do you mean Asuka?", Misato asked innocently.  
  
"Well you spent all night at Shinji's new place", Asuka scowled; "It's obvious what happened", Asuka teased.  
  
"Look Asuka, you don't know, what you think you know", Misato spoke.  
  
"Well I'm sure the commander.", Asuka didn't finish because Misato cut her off.  
  
Misato couldn't believe that the second child was actually threatening her. That put her over the edge and for the first time Misato completely lost it with the second child.  
  
"Don't threaten me Asuka!" Misato barked; "Just remember, your not the commanders favourite and your not his son, you are expendable", Misato finished, emphasising the last word. Asuka paled knowing she had pushed too far.  
  
Now convinced that she had sufficiently intimidated the second child, she spoke in a softer town;  
  
"If you know what's good for you, you'll leave this alone", Misato didn't give Asuka a chance to respond and headed for her room.  
  
******  
  
/Hey Shinji,  
  
Sorry I couldn't stay to see you wake up but I got to take care of some things. One of which being the one and only Asuka Langly Souryu I'll try and come over and see you later if that's ok and thank you for letting me stay last night.  
  
See ya, Misato Katsuragi.  
  
Shinji finished reading the small note Misato had left him, 'tonight', Shinji thought to himself; 'I look forward to it'  
  
*****  
  
Misato opened the door of her apartment to head for NERV headquarters. The face of Hikari Horaki met her. She didn't wait for Hikari to speak, she simply closed the door behind her and started to walk to her car. Hikari started to follow, speaking as she did.  
  
"Hello Hikari", Misato spoke almost spitefully, she knew how much she had hurt Shinji.  
  
"M---Miss Katsuragi, is Shinji home?", Hikari asked softly picking up the tone of Misato's voice.  
  
"I don't know", Misato spoke simply.  
  
"You don't know?" Hikari asked confused.  
  
"Shinji doesn't live here anymore, so I honestly don't know if he's home", Misato spoke, her anger showing once again.  
  
"Oh, do you know where I might find him?" Hikari asked not willing to give up.  
  
"I do know where his new apartment is but I'm not going to tell you", Misato said simply,  
  
"Why?", Hikari asked.  
  
"Don't you think you've hurt him enough Hikari, or is this just to twist the knife in the wound", Misato said in a spiteful manner.  
  
"I--I never meant to hurt him", Hikari said, her face flushed looking away from the older woman.  
  
"It's too late for that now, isn't it?" Misato commented. She didn't bother to hear the girl's reply; she just slammed her car door, and sped off towards NERV.  
  
*****  
  
Rei Ayanami sat in her apartment still contemplating the conversation she had with Shinji a day earlier.  
  
"Rei, I want to thank you for this", Shinji spoke.  
  
"For what?", Rei replied.  
  
"For listening to me, for trying to understand, I needed to thank you for that", Shinji answered.  
  
"I see, I believe my response should be, your welcome", Rei said with a soft smile.  
  
Rei looked mildly uncomfortable for a moment as if trying to decide something but it passed as quickly as it came and she said, "I would like you to stay"  
  
"I'll stay as long as you like Rei" Shinji said nodding.  
  
"You do not understand, I wish you to live here, in my apartment with me", Rei Clarified.  
  
"I---I can't, I'm sorry, I would feel like I was imposing, besides I don't think this apartment would accommodate two people", he said the last part with a chuckle.  
  
"I would adapt, Shinji", Rei replied flatly.  
  
That got his attention, she never used his first name, he was so surprised he almost choked. Rei began giggling at his reaction, covering her mouth with her hand.  
  
"Why did you do that?", Shinji asked. Rei looked back with a puzzled look on her face. "Why do you cover you mouth when you laugh?, you have such a nice laugh", he asked.  
  
"I---I do not know", Rei replied simply. Shinji smiled at her.  
  
Rei opened her eyes and spoke a single word followed by a smile "Ikari"  
  
****  
  
Hikari walked into School arguing with Touji, their date had obviously not gone well.  
  
"Did you have to start that fight with the guy in front of us?", Hikari almost shouted.  
  
"Well, you heard him, he was asking for it", Touji defended.  
  
"All he said was the film wasn't that good", Hikari lowered her voice.  
  
"Exactly, he was asking for it, how could ANYONE say that film was crap", Touji added.  
  
"Everyone is entitled to there own opinion", Hikari said.  
  
"Whatever", Touji dismissed.  
  
They almost stopped arguing immediately as they approached the classroom, they certainly weren't going to give anyone a free show. They each went to there separate desks and sat down.  
  
Kensuke turned around straddling the back of his chair. "Trouble in paradise?", Kensuke said.  
  
"What the hell are you talking about Kensuke?" Touji bit his friend's head off.  
  
"Well you two have been so lovey dovey the last few days, today your hardly speaking to each other, so 'sup man?" Kensuke reasoned. Touji just growled under his breath.  
  
"Do you want to talk about it?" Kensuke asked. Touji growled once more and shook his head.  
  
"Raise, bow, Sit", Hikari announced as the teacher entered the room. The teacher stood at the front of the black board and spoke "today class, we'll be learning about the Second Impact". The Class groaned.  
  
"How many times they going to go over this", one pupil said. "I'm sure they must get as sick of teaching as we do of listening", said another.  
  
Shinji was in his own world however, listening to track 26 on his SDAT. A message box flashed up on his Computer screen, "You have Been invited to Chat Room #Tokyo3 - Join room y/n", Shinji read and typed "yes". The box disappeared seconds later the Chat Channel appeared. The list of users on the right of the screen showed most of his Class. Shinji began to read the conversation as it happens.  
  
Kensuke: So how long until School finishes? Tomoyo: Too long. ---- Hikaru Sighs Touji: Hey Shin-man. --- Asuka has Joined #Tokyo3--- Fu: hey Asuka. Asuka: So what are all you Cyber Junkies talking about? Touji is now known as Devil-woman Devil-woman: Look at me. My names Asuka, --- Asuka Clobbers Devil-Woman with a Baseball-bat over and over again. Devil-Woman is now known as Touji. Hikaru: Hey Touji even in the Cyber world you can't win. (  
  
You Have Received a Private Message would you like to read it? Y/n  
  
Shinji read the Box and answered yes, a second box appeared smaller than the first.  
  
Shinji: Hello, who is this? Hikari: Hello Shinji, Meet me after School, where we last talked. Shinji: Hikari! --- Hikari has signed off.  
  
Shinji Closed down the Private message box, he stayed in the Chat room but nothing of interest happened. He knew why Hikari was so vague, Kensuke had developed a program to read Private Messages. "So she wants to meet me, but why? She was quite clear", Shinji whispered to himself.  
  
The afternoon Lesson was Lab Class, the aged teacher broke out of his Daze briefly to say "pick a partner and work on you assigned tasks", The teacher then seemed to zone out again. Shinji was on his own, as usual,  
  
"Would you like to be my partner?", a gentle female voice asked from behind him. With out turning around Shinji replied "I work better alone". Undaunted the girl pressed on; "Well maybe you just haven't worked with the right person yet".  
  
Shinji turned around to see the face of Hikaru Tenkowa smiling back at him, her mahogany coloured hair and long ponytail set her apart from the class. "Ok", he said nodding. The Experiment was pretty uneventful and went well, Hikaru and Shinji worked well together, they had the best scores in the class. As the day ended they made their way to the staircase. "I think we are going to be good friends Shinji", Hikaru smiled warmly. "I think we will", Shinji replied with an equally warm smile, to him it felt like the first time he'd smiled in 3 weeks.  
  
Shinji felt good. He'd made a friend today. Hikaru Tenkowa. He repeated her name in his mind, she was definitely pretty, but the last thing he wanted right now was a relationship with anyone. As he walked thought the school he almost forgot his 'scheduled' meeting with Hikari.  
  
He made his way to the same building they had talked, before this mess started. He walked into the dusty room. He hated this room, he thought, too many bad memories here. He summed. He saw Hikari waiting, she was sat on a Chair with her palms pressed against her skirt and she was just looking at them. He didn't know if she'd even noticed him so he spoke first.  
  
"What do you want Hikari?", he asked coolly, trying to seem cold, but it was hard given how much she'd hurt him.  
  
"I--We need to talk, Shinji", Hikari said almost distantly.  
  
"There's nothing to talk about, everything's been said, Hikari"  
  
"My date with Touji didn't go as well as I'd hoped"  
  
"Well, I'm sorry Touji is not the man you hoped Hikari, but frankly, I don't care"  
  
"I went to see you the other day, Miss Katsuragi said you moved out, she wouldn't tell me where"  
  
"Misato is very protective of me"  
  
"Hikari, I don't know what you hoped to gain from this but it can only open up old wounds for both of us", Shinji used a Cold tone of voice.  
  
"Goodbye Hikari", Shinji turned and started to walk away.  
  
This time he wasn't running away, this time he was walking away, this time he was facing his fear. Hikari knew that this was more than just he leaving here and now, he was walking away from their friendship, closing the door on this part of his life forever. Any hope of reconciliation now gone, short of a miracle he would probably never speak to her again. The way he said goodbye it was the same tone his father used, the same cold, empty voice. She had met the elder Ikari once, he had only said "Miss Horaki" then nodded, it was barely and acknowledgement but it was enough to send Shivers down her spine, and not in a good way. Then it dawned on her she had turned Shinji into the one thing he hated more than anything in the world - his father  
  
It was the last straw for Hikari, she broke down and cried, for the first time since this whole affair had began, she cried until she ran out of tears but still she cried  
  
******  
  
Next Episode  
  
After the Confrontation with Shinji how will this effect Hikari's relationship? And what is the Terrible secret Misato hold, Find out in the next Exciting Chapter of Circle of fire 


	3. This Mess We're in

Chapter 3: This mess we're in.  
  
In the game of life, you hit the ball pitched at you, it goes out of the stadium. You throw your bat to the ground to make a home run but then Life cheats and throws you a curveball, and without your Bat, you're completely defenceless.  
  
****  
  
Shinji stood leaning against the wall, he looked up and down the eerily deserted streets of Tokyo three. Apart from a few hookers working there spot, trying to get "paying customers" and the odd car flash past now and then, it was almost like a ghost town. Misato had phoned him late and asked him to meet her here. He would have asked if it could wait until tomorrow but she sounded almost frantic and that's not like Misato so he agreed.  
  
He wondered why she just didn't come to the apartment to talk. She probably assumed Kensuke, Touji or Hikaru were there and she would have been right too. He told Kensuke to either crash on the couch when he was done watching old horror movies or Lock the door when he leaves. Given the current downpour of rain, the former was more likely and he expected to find Kensuke on the couch when he got back.  
  
"Must get some blankets for the guy, bet he's freezing his ass off in there", Shinji muttered to himself.  
  
He was interrupted by the distinctive Squeal of the breaks on Misato's midnight Blue 1972 Mustang. Misato pulled up at the corner and yelled to him "Get in Shinji". Shinji moved from his cover and dashed to the car, trying to remain as dry as possible. He sat into the car closing the car door behind him. Before he could even put his seat belt on Misato revved the engine and sped away.  
  
Misato was driving erratically, almost as if she didn't really know where she was going. And she was surprisingly stone cold sober. Something unusual for Misato indeed, by this time she'd usually passed out. She had the look on her face, Shinji knew it well, it was the look that she desperately wanted to say or talk about something, but was arguing with herself to or not. Shinji decided to break the ice.  
  
"Misato, Where are we going?" Shinji asked.  
  
Misato was silent for a minute or two then replied "What I have to say is for your ears only, Shinji, I'm not going anywhere really, moving around makes it harder for them to follow and harder for Gendou to listen in"  
  
"Oh, so why did you call me so late, Misato?"  
  
"Shinji, there is something you should know", Misato began then hesitated.  
  
"What's wrong Misato are you crying?"  
  
"Shinji, I'm..."  
  
"MISATO LOOK OUT!!!", Shinji Yelled to late as a car had swerved from the opposite lain of traffic and slammed right into them sending Misato's car into a 360o spin and off the road and into the guard rails crunching body work like tin foil. When the car came to rest it was upside down. It hurt Shinji to move but he pushed the pain to the back of his mind and looked around. Misato was in a bad way. Her arm looked like it had been broken in several places, she was bleeding and the car was on FIRE.  
  
"Need to get out", he said aloud.  
  
Somehow he managed to unhook his seatbelt his body fell down to the roof of the car, he unhooked Misato's seatbelt and stopped her from falling by holding her by the shoulders, he then dragged her and himself out of the smashed window. When he had dragged Misato a safe distance away. He passed out un-ceremonially falling on top of her.  
  
*****  
  
Shinji opened his eyes, it didn't do him much good his vision was blurred and doubled. He winced as his eyes adapted to the light from the open window.  
  
"Get the doctor, he's awake!" a nurse exclaimed as she was checking in on him.  
  
Minutes later a tall blonde woman with Glasses dressed in a white coat entered the room. It was no other than Dr Ritsuko Agaki.  
  
"Shinji, Shinji, do you know who I am?", Ritsuko asked in a medical fashion.  
  
Shinji nodded his response followed by "Ritsuko, where am I?"  
  
"We'll get to that in a Minute, do you know who you are?", Ritsuko questioned.  
  
"Ritsuko, I know exactly who I am, I'm Shinji Ikari"  
  
"Good to hear you in high sprits third child, after what happened" a voice from out of sight said, the voice cutting through him like a knife. It was the voice of Gendou Ikari.  
  
"F.father?" Shinji called out.  
  
"Misato, how is she, sir?"  
  
"Major Katsuragi will recover, she is not your concern, third child"  
  
Gendou turned and left.  
  
Shinji looked to Ritsuko for some kind of explanation there was none. So she decided to change the subject from Gendou Ikari to one of a more personal nature.  
  
"Misato is fine Shinji, she was a little shaken up, if you hadn't pulled her out when you did, it could have been a lot worse, for both of you", Ristuko spoke.  
  
"By the way Shinji, your friends are waiting outside, shall I let them know you're awake?"  
  
Shinji's reply was a silent nod,  
  
Ritsuko smiled but it soon fell away, replaced by the usual frown she wears. "Ok I'll let them in, but before I do there is something you should know"  
  
******  
  
"Shinji's such an idiot", Asuka insulted; "Getting himself in a car crash", she added.  
  
"Have some respect Asuka, we're in an HOSPITAL for crying you loud", Hikaru replied. Asuka had spent the last 30 minutes they had been waiting insulting the third child telling anyone in the near vaccinate exactly what she though of him.  
  
"And I should care - why?" Asuka barked. "Jeez Asuka sometimes I wish I never met you", Hikaru replied as Dr Agaki left Shinji's room and started to approach them.  
  
"SO, how is the pervert!" Asuka said with reams of sarcasm in her voice.  
  
Ritsuko sighed then said, "if your referring to Shinji, Asuka, he's awake, he's asked to see you all but before I let you in I should tell you that he is still in shock and has just received some news"  
  
"Ooh gossip, do tell?" Asuka suddenly went for sarcastic bitch to private investigator mode in 2 seconds flat.  
  
"Doctor, patient privilege. Only those involved are aloud to disclose any information"  
  
"But we're almost like family", Asuka pouted trying to break Ritsuko's resolve but Ritsuko knew it was all false pretence. Right then Kaji walked in.  
  
"KAJI!", Asuka squealed as she clung to him like a barnacle, everyone felt sorry for the poor individual who answered to that name. "Hey there", Kaji coolly replied gasping for air.  
  
Whist Asuka fraternised over Kaji the rest of the group went into Shinji's hospital room to see their friend.  
  
When they entered the first thing they saw was Shinji his eyes were wide and his skin pale.  
  
"Hey shin-man, you don't look so good", Kensuke said. "I wonder if that's a result of the accident", Touji chimed in. To which Hikari grabbed him by the ear and pulled him down till his head was level with hers. "Behave! Remember what we discussed earlier" was all she said. Touji promptly saluted and chimed of a "Yes ma'am".  
  
"Shinji are you ok?" Hikaru asked concerned. Shinji nodded dumbly. "So how is the indestructible Shinji", Asuka almost bellowed as she entered the room closely followed by Kaji who was plugging his ears with his fingers. 'One good shot' he thought 'that's all I would need, just one', he added.  
  
"What on earth happened to you! You look like you've seen a ghost", Asuka barked.  
  
"Ikari, you are unharmed?", Rei asked with concern, if you weren't listening carefully you would have missed it, however Asuka didn't miss it..  
  
"So the ice-queen speaks", Asuka insulted turning to Rei.  
  
"I am not a doll", Rei replied simply narrowing her eyes to stare down the second child, leaving no room for questioning.  
  
"Guys will you please stop, Shinji's in the hospital", Hikari said, unable to look at the occupant to the single bed. Instead she kept her eyes fixated on the floor. Rei muttered something under her breath about Asuka that was inaudible to everyone in the room.  
  
For the rest of the hospital visit, not that much was said even Asuka remained mostly silent. Shinji regained his normal colour but didn't talk about it even with Asuka's constant badgering (the few times she had spoken had been to try to get information from him)  
  
After an hour Ritsuko had ordered everyone out until visiting hours tomorrow.  
  
"See ya around, Shin-man", Kensuke said  
  
"Good day Ikari", Rei spoke  
  
"I'll miss you, Shinji" Hikaru waved.  
  
"Later man", Touji filed out.  
  
Hikari simply looked at him nodded then left.  
  
"I'll get you to tell me Idiot, I got ways you know" Asuka said leaving the room.  
  
Ritsuko was about to leave his bedside when he grabbed her forearm to stop her. She looked at him asking a silent "What"  
  
"Can I see Misato?" he asked.  
  
"You still need rest, you can see her in the morning", Ritsuko denied his request.  
  
"Please, I need to see her", Shinji pleaded.  
  
Ritsuko nodded and held out her arm to help him out of the hospital bed. He was the only person she knew that could change her mind once she had made a choice. 'He looks so much like him' Ritsiko chewed over in her mind 'I wonder if he knows' 'He used to be like this, so full of passion, so caring. Now though I don't know what he is anymore'  
  
They made there way down the long corridor Shinji used Ritsuko for support as they walked. The stopped by a brown door or more accurately Ritsuko stopped and Shinji was forced to do the same.  
  
Ritsuko opened the door and they entered, Misato was awake, she placed Shinji into the chair by the side of the bed. She left the room, saying "I'll leave you two alone" closing the door behind her.  
  
"Shinji, I'm sorry", Misato said.  
  
"It wasn't your fault, that car came straight at us, no one could have avoided it"  
  
Misato nodded relived that he didn't blame her for the accident. "Misato, I know what you were trying to tell me that night"  
  
"You do? How?". Misato asked puzzled.  
  
"Ritsuko told me, what are we going to do Misato"  
  
"I don't know, you're so young, you don't need this responsibility Shinji"  
  
"I may be young but I grew up a long time ago Misato, I grew up when the fate of the entire human race was put on my shoulders"  
  
Misato nodded.  
  
"I don't know what kind of father I'd make, I just hope I can do better than mine, I won't walk away like he did"  
  
Misato smiled warmly, it wasn't the Misato teasing smile or the Misato 'man melting' smile as Shinji had dubbed it. It was the same smile she had used that night they had spent together, a truly happy smile.  
  
They each starred at each other in silence for a long time, appreciating what the other would be giving up to do this, to make it work.  
  
A soft knock at the door was heard, breaking them out of the trance. The door gently opened and Kaji popped in his head.  
  
"Hey Misato, can we talk?" Kaji asked. Misato nodded and Kaji entered the room, he looked at Shinji then turned back to Misato, "Alone"  
  
"Its ok Mr Kaji, I was just leaving", Shinji lied. Kaji helped the young man to the door where Ritsuko who had been waiting outside took over. Kaji closed over the brown door as Ritsuko helped Shinji back to his room  
  
*****  
  
Ritsuko and Shinji conversed as they walked toward the small hospital room at the other end of the corridor.  
  
"So, is everything ok Shinji?" "What do you mean Ritsuko?" "Shinji", she smiled; "am I going to be an auntie?" Shinji chuckled; "I really don't know, but I hope so"  
  
They arrived at the small room and went inside, Shinji lay back down onto the single bed. Ritsuko was turned off the light and opened the door. She spoke without turning around "If you find something special Shinji, fight for it, don't just give up, no one should be alone" without looking to see his reaction or letting him answer she left and shut the door behind her. ***** Kaji sat down in the chair that was previously occupied by Shinji.  
  
"Misato, when they called me and said you'd been in an accident, I thought I'd lost you", he stated; "I don't want to lose you, marry me?" Kaji proposed.  
  
"I--I don't know", Misato turned away unable to look him in the eye; "Things are different now" "Isn't this what you wanted, you said if we were to ever make this work you'd want a big commitment, it doesn't get much bigger than MARRIAGE Misato?"  
  
"What about Shinji?" Misato asked more than he could know with that simple question. "Shinji's got his own place now and Asuka will be glad to take over your old apartment after you move in with me, so what do you say?" Kaji answered.  
  
"I--I'll think about it"  
  
"That's all I ask"  
  
Kaji rose from the wooden chair and exited the room, closing the door softly as he left. For Misato it would be the first of many sleepless nights, nights plagued by dreams of both Shinji and Kaji.  
  
*****  
  
Next Episode  
  
Shinji Finally cracks and goes insane can anyone stop Shinji's wrath? Find out next time in the next Griping Chapter of Circle of Fire! 


	4. Redemption

Chapter 4: Redemption.  
  
Friendship is a strange thing. People can be friends for years then something will happen between you and you'll pass each other in the street without even acknowledging each other. Then one-day years later someone will ask you "whatever happened to what's his/her name?" and you'll just say, "I don't know", but some friendships are so good, so worth it, that even when they're bad - they're good.  
  
***** Misato was in the hospital cafeteria drinking some coffee with Ritsuko.  
  
"Rits, wouldn't it be easier to let Kaji marry me? He'd never have to know" Misato spoke. "Miso, You'd know, Shinji would know"  
  
"When I look at the one I love, all I see now is the Job, he has become the job, find your answer Miso and make the right choice"  
  
"How am I supposed to find out?"  
  
"How indeed" Ritsuko left leaving Misato alone to think about all the things going on in her life.  
  
****  
  
"Proceed with the test", Gendou Ikari ordered. "Sir, the Pilot is still not fully recovered", Maya spoke. "That is not your Concern, Activate the Experiment"  
  
In the cockpit of Eva05 there was darkness, the lone pilot sat at its centre, as the power was connected the blue tint from the power conduits lit up the cockpit and a slight humming could be heard.  
  
Maya taped at her keyboard the deep emerald eyes of Eva unit 05 Shone brightly for a brief moment as the power was activated.  
  
"Power has been connected", "Full Nerve connection", "System at absolute borderline, Borderline cleared", "EVA unit activated" the various technicians reported from there stations. "Switching to internal S2 Drive"  
  
The eyes of Eva unit 05 Flashed Green once more and all its internal controls flashed to life. The Eva Let out a blood-curdling scream and its eyes went deep Blood red. "The Eva's gone berserk!!", "No wait its still under pilot control, what's going on"  
  
The Eva Pulled out its Positron Beam cannon stored on its back. The EVA aimed the dual shotgun like rifle at the NERV control centre. "Close the Blast doors, Switch back to external batteries and pull main power", Gendou Ikari ordered but it was too late. "Disconnecting main power - 5.00 minutes to total shut down", Maya Yelled. The Unit pulled the trigger on the gun, the weapon charged momentarily before unleashing its powerful blue beam of light. The beam impacted the Blast doors overcoming their defensive capabilities in seconds. There was a large explosion as the command centre was engulfed in the beam.  
  
"Damage to the MAGI at 63%", one of the surviving technicians spoke. "Send Unit 02 and 00 to intercept", Gendou ordered from under a roof beam that had fallen on top of him.  
  
The Eva ripped open the launch doors and started to climb the catapult to the surface, it couldn't get through the catapult's sealed Triennium doors at least not with its talons. "It will not penetrate the facility doors," Gendo smirked.  
  
A moment later that smirk was wiped off his face as the Eva unit aimed its Positron beam rifle at the doors and fired. The Blue beam streaked into the sky after melting the shaft along with anything else that stood in its way. Eva05 climbed out of the launch tunnel. It had reached the surface.  
  
"I'll kill them all" - said its pilot.  
  
**** Waiting for unit 05 was the Red Eva unit 02 piloted by the one and only Asuka Langly Souru. "I'll finish this off quickly, then go home for dinner", Asuka said with a confident smile; "I've been waiting for an opportunity like this"  
  
"Don't underestimate him" Ritsuko shouted down the Comm. link.  
  
Ritsuko's words of warning fell on deaf ears however as Asuka launched her unit into battle. "It's Payback time"  
  
Eva Unit05 quickly brought its Positron cannon to bear on the red Eva firing the powerful blue beam. Asuka dogged barely in time and the beam struck the Eva's right side. Melting through it and further hitting one of the buildings behind her, atomising it in a white flash, Asuka used her new- found momentum to attempt a strike home with her Eva Lance.  
  
Eva Unit 05 discarded its Positron cannon. Using its own lance to slice at Asuka making her flip back to try and avoid however the Lance Impacted on the Red Eva along with nearby structures. Creating large Gashes in unit 02's armour.  
  
Unit 00 ran up from behind drawing its progressive knife on the move from its shoulder compartment. Unit05 swung around taking its attention from Asuka, and bringing its Lance to bare simultaneously.  
  
The two progressive weapons clashed in a spark of energy. Unit 05 matched Rei's moves effortlessly and perfectly.  
  
"He's fast" spoke Rei as she swiped with her Knife again.  
  
Unit 05 ducked under Rei's swing and did a full 360-degree turn cutting the Lance right through Unit00's waist. Rei Screamed as she actually felt the pain of being cut in half at which point Rei passed out.  
  
The top half of unit 00 fell to the ground as the legs fell in the other direction. Unit 05 turned its attention back to Asuka, retrieving a pallet rifle from a destroyed armoury tower, he aimed the rifle at her helpless unit. The cannon sped up and Asuka felt the pain of being Machine gunned at point blank range until the ammunition magazine was empty.  
  
The large "bullet" holes and gashes in her Eva reflected how badly the battle had gone for Asuka, she had underestimated her enemy and almost paid with her life. Unit 05 discarded the empty Pallet rifle and retrieved its positron beam cannon, the pilot of unit 05 still breathing heavily from the battle. "Their all my enemies"  
  
Unit 05 aimed its Positron rifle at the N2 mine carrier circling around the area the blue beam streaked into the sky like an arrow of light going right through the carrier. The six N2 mines onboard detonated.  
  
The huge detonation lit up the sky a fiery orange, it looked as if the heavens itself were burning. Then the shock waves hit, buildings where literally blown away and glass shattered showering the people below that had not been evacuated. It was like being hit by the force of 10 hurricanes all at once.  
  
**** "Sir, Unit 05 has defeated Unit 02 and 00, what should we do?" Maya asked. "How long until its power runs out?", Gendou spoke with utter calm. "Sir, its power should have run out 30 seconds ago", Maya responded. "Then send the retrieval teams", Gendou smiled. "However the unit is still fully operational, it must be using its S2 Drive" "I see", was Gendou's only response  
  
With NERV temporally defeated the UN and SEELE launched a full military attack against unit 05.using all the weapons at there disposal.  
  
It failed. Unit 05 ripped through the armed forces easily, with hundreds of men lives now lost the UN ceased its attack. Unfortunately unit 05 decided to lay waste to the nearby UN base. Leaving burnt out buildings and decimation behind it. It was more brutal then any of the angels. No quarter was given by the pilot of unit 05 and the only warning the base received was, "I am the god of death, the weak shall perish"  
  
That message played through the audio speakers at the NERV command bunker. The voice of the pilot was so cold now, but so crazed. "Sir the target is heading toward Tokyo-2", Misato reported, walking in on crutches. "Indeed Major Katsuragi, do you know why the pilot has suddenly tried to do this?"  
  
**** They could hear the UN Radio chatter over the NERV Intel. Net. As the various commanders and units sent messages back and forth.  
  
"Sir, this is Black dog to control, target is in range and locked"  
  
"Roger that Black dog, you have a go"  
  
Maya looked over at Misato, "you can't let them do this? You know who's in that unit"  
  
Misato narrowed her eyes and said "Its too late for him, there is nothing I can do"  
  
Several N2 mine carriers unleashed their cargo the mines dropped from 5000ft and would detonate at 500ft. The carriers moved out of the area as quickly as possible. The mines detonated, in sequence directly above unit 05. The many mushroom clouds climbed miles into the sky and could be seen from the NERV bunker both by eye and on screen.  
  
"This is Observation unit 1 waiting for visual confirmation of targets destruction"  
  
"Target is clear, man it looks like hell on earth out there!"  
  
"Roger that, We've got it"  
  
The blood red eyes of Unit 05 shone brightly, back lit by the flames of "hell"  
  
"Wait what on earth is that? AHHHHHHHHH"  
  
Eva Unit 05 lunged forward using its Eva Lance to Slice straight through the UN observation unit, which exploded seconds later. Eva unit 05 then started on the armed forces gathered in the area, slicing through two tanks with it's Ribbon Cutters as it flew by, showering Jeeps with Progressive Throwing blades as it rocketed past them at full power.  
  
Unit 05 split its Eva Lance into two parts and threw them at the MRLS that were firing their rockets, destroying them. Eva 05 lassoes the lance segments with its Ribbon Cutters and swung them around, destroying several tanks before pulling on the Cutters like a yo-yo to retrieve the lance segments and return them to a single Lance and kneeling on one leg its eyes shining brightly.  
  
Eva 05 screams in rage as it once again lunges forward destroying the rest of the armed forces with its lance and Ribbon Cutters. "Humans are not needed here anymore!"  
  
Eva unit 05 Spread its "devil wings" and flew straight upwards, firing missiles at aircraft above. The pilots screamed in fear as Eva 05 used its lance to slice straight through several aircraft that had survived the missile barrage.  
  
A Single soldier started to run from the battle as fast as his legs would carry him, a flag in the cockpit brought attention to him, Eva 05 aimed its positron cannon at the ground and fired. As the arrow of light hit the earth a large explosion engulfed the area in fire, when it cleared all that remained was a smoking crater.  
  
"If, you cannot face death, you should not be fighting"  
  
Eva 05 then started to fly toward Tokyo-2  
  
****  
  
"It survived then?" Kozzo spoke "Indeed, the N2 mines will not overcome its quantum armour",. Gendou Ikari replied. "How long until it's in Blaster range of Tokyo-2?" Gendou asked. "50 minutes", Kozzo replied "I see", Gendou said calmly "What will SEELE do now?" Kozzo asked; "After all they didn't know about the development of such a powerful weapon" Gendou made no response, but simply placed his hands to make a bridge with his nose and smiled.  
  
****  
  
The ground beneath Shinji's feet crumbled and the sky went blood red, the grass burned, he fell into the dark opening beneath him, still falling, darkness. He was surrounded by images of his past and present. Horrors he hoped he'd never see again.  
  
His mother dying His father walking away. His teacher looking away in disgust. His uncle slapping him across the face. His Father's smirk plastered across his face. The Third angel The Eva goes berserk. Being boiled alive in the Entry plug. Almost killing his friends. The Dummy plug Being swallowed by the angel Kowour Hikari leaving him for Touji Misato marrying Kaji Asuka insulting him  
  
Everything bad that had ever happened to him had flashed around him. When the barrage of images reached full cycles they would but start again, Shinji was now crying, "I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away", still falling into the darkness.  
  
****  
  
Shinji finally hit bottom. The darkness surrounding him, the cold floor felt smooth to the touch, it was Marble and Shinji was on his knee's crying into his hands.  
  
A single spotlight shone down from the ceiling onto a large throne that stood atop a tall marble staircase. On the throne sat a dark figure dressed in all black, his face hidden from sight, or he had no face, from the distance it was hard to tell.  
  
"Step forward and prepare to be judged Shinji Ikari", the Figure said.  
  
"Am I dead? Is this hell?" Shinji responded.  
  
The Figure raised his hand and Shinji was Pulled forward and placed on an Engraved picture of a stone Dragon.  
  
"Your time for judgement has come"  
  
"Will you judge me?" Shinji asked.  
  
"You will be judged by someone far more fitting", the figure said stepping forward into the light, and the face of the figure was that of Shinji Ikari  
  
"You're me", Shinji said.  
  
"Who better to judge you, then yourself!" Judge Shinji spoke.  
  
A second light shone down upon Shinji, this one blue.  
  
"You ran away from everything, Shinji, you're a coward"  
  
"That's not true, I pilot Eva", Shinji argued.  
  
"You Pilot Eva because you are were to scared to tell your father no, you're still running away, you ran away from Hikari, you ran away from Misato, your STILL running away", Judge Shinji spoke.  
  
"You can't run away from yourself Shinji"  
  
Shinji covered his ears, "you don't know me, you don't know me", Shinji spoke like a mantra.  
  
"I am you, I know you better than anyone, Asuka is right, you're a Moronic, coward pervert, nothing but a little child", Judge Shinji taunted.  
  
"Your wrong, I'll show you all", Shinji spoke pushing himself to his feet, only to be pushed back down by Judge Shinji.  
  
Shinji pushes harder and harder to get up, eventually getting to his feet but constantly fighting to stay there. Shinji took a swing at Judge Shinji. The punch connecting with Judge Shinji's right cheek.  
  
"So you have some fight in you", Judge Shinji spoke, as he used his power to push Shinji into the nearby wall. The impact making Shinji cough up blood.  
  
"You do not deserve to live any longer, for you've wasted the life you have"  
  
Shinji ran at Judge Shinji, only to be pushed back into the wall again. He did this several times. Each time being pushed back harder.  
  
"Is that extent of your spirit Ikari", Judge Shinji spoke as Shinji ran faster and harder.  
  
The fifth time Shinji was thrown back the concrete cracked and a small hole to the outside was formed. Through it Shinji could see Eva Unit 05 aiming its positron Cannon at Hikari.  
  
****  
  
Eva Unit 05 opened its Chest plate and charged its internal quantum energy cannons. Thanks to the miniaturisation NERV had developed it allowed them to embed the cannons directly into the Chest armour. The Energy Sparked, as the charge grew bigger. Hikari stood in front of Tokyo-2, and shouted to Unit 05.  
  
"Shinji, don't do this, These people are not your enemies, this is wrong!"  
  
There was no response from Eva 05 other than a blood curdling scream, the Green Balls of energy flashed brilliant white as the Quantum energy beams shot over Hikari's head, the centre of the city was taken away in a large dome of light. Hikari could feel the heat from the beam as it shot overhead, She was thrown to the ground from the shock wave of the explosion, then darkness.  
  
When she came to, Eva 05's Positron rifle was pointed directly at her.  
  
"Go ahead Shinji, Kill me like all those people, If they deserve to die, so do I"  
  
The positron Cannon began to charge as Shinji started to squeeze the trigger Hikari could see the Energy begin to build in the barrel as so closed her eyes and waited for the inevitable ****  
  
"Hikari, NO!" Shinji yelled.  
  
Shinji ran forward as fast as his legs would carry him Growing Eva Armour over his right arm and back, pulling a Progressive knife Shinji growled with anger as he ran, next second his was the other side of Judge Shinji, the Progressive knife had cut right through him.  
  
"You Finally understand," Judge Shinji spoke just before he keeled over slipping into death. "I will live by my own sense of integrity, I know who my true enemies are"  
  
The world around Shinji broke into a thousand pieces, like a shattered mirror.  
  
**** The Eyes of Unit 05 shone emerald green once again, Shinji was back in the cockpit of Eva unit 05, Hikari was centre in the Cross hairs of the targeting system. Shinji immediately stopped what he was obviously about to do which was turn Hikari into scattered particles.  
  
"Who is my enemy?" Shinji asked himself.  
  
The Image of his father, Gendou Ikari flashed into his mind.  
  
"Yes, he is my true enemy"  
  
All the controls in the cockpit of Eva unit 05 went dead and the lights went dim, the entry plug opened and Shinji was thrown out to the ground covered in LCL and breathing heavily. Then passing out Hikari ran to Shinji's side, "Shinji, Shinji, wake up", she yelled.  
  
*******  
  
Next episode  
  
With Shinji Still feeling the Madness caused by Unit 05, the after effects finally start to sink in sending Shinji into a Coma, can anyone save this Helpless child from his own mind? Find out next time in the next Gripping Chapter of Circle of Fire! 


	5. Cruel Angels Thesis

Chapter 5: Cruel Angels Thesis / To live again.  
  
"When one gains power you find that you lose your friends, there are only people you want to use and people who want to use you - it is better to do the former than be the latter" - Gendou Ikari - Idiots guide to NERV.  
  
They say that truth is beautiful without doubt, but so are lies. Loving someone and saying you don't is a lie, but is it worse than admitting the truth, that you love them and they don't love you back anymore and that this time you really have missed your chance to be happy?  
  
*******  
  
Shinji opened his eyes, he recognised the surroundings, it was the hospital again. Hikari had fallen asleep in the chair to his left and Misato was sleeping next to her.  
  
The Two "black suits" were stood at the door to the room, weather they were there to stop him leaving or to stop anyone else coming in, he did not know, or care at the moment, Shinji sat up slowly. And looked at the rest of his room. It was small. There was a brown, wooden chest of draws next to his bed, some flowers in a Vase were placed atop it, next to it a jug of water, next to that an empty plate, more than likely Misato's.  
  
****  
  
In a secret Eva cage, deep within terminal dogma stood the now thankfully inactive Eva Unit 05, "What do we do about the unit?" Kozzo asked  
  
"We are indeed lucky he did not master the full capabilities of the system, we shall keep unit 05 for now", Gendou replied.  
  
"And the third child?", Kozzo Asked.  
  
Gendou considered this for a moment before answering. "We shall see of the third child's condition when he awakens"  
  
"I swear that thing is looking at me", Kozzo stated looking into the now black eyes of Eva 05 uncomfortably,  
  
"Old friend, you know that is impossible, you after all should know better than anyone", Gendou replied  
  
"As you say commander", Kozzo stated unconvinced.  
  
****  
  
The memories of the past few days within Eva 05 surfaced, the blood started to ooze out of his palms staining his hands. "No, No, dead, all dead", Shinji muttered.  
  
Shinji watched as his friends were killed one by one with his own hand, but unable to stop his own actions, Hikari disintegrated in a beam of light, Kensuke decapitated with the Eva Lance, Misato, Ritsuko, Asuka Rei all dead. The bleeding bodies lay out before him, oozing blood out onto the ground. Shinji sinking into a pool of blood like quicksand.  
  
"There dead because of me!"  
  
He tried to claw his way out of the blood, but only sank faster. The world started to go dark now as the blood swallowed him. He struggled to breathe. As he sank deeper and deeper flailing his arms about wildly.  
  
Shinji's world went dark.  
  
Shinji was in Eva 05 again - the angels were attacking - he took them all on, he made short work of the first few with his lance but realised they weren't angels at all they were his friends once again, he saw there face, each asking him "why?" Shinji screamed out a blood-curdling cry.  
  
Now they were the angels again, the angel lashed out at Shinji, wrapping one of its Tentacles around Eva-05's head. Shinji used the Chest Blaster's creating a large bleeding hole In the Angels body blood splattering everywhere, Shinji swung around and cut off the angels head. As the head fell to the ground Shinji realised it was Kensuke, he had killed his friend "NOOOO" Shinji Yelled.  
  
***  
  
Shinji lay on his hospital bed in the Fettle position cradling his knees with his arms and burying his head in them sobbing like a baby, muttering something every so often.  
  
"Is there anything we can do for him?" said a voice  
  
"Perhaps, but it is high risk, he could suffer permanent damage", Came the reply  
  
"Proceed"  
  
"I will need time to prepare"  
  
****  
  
Hikari and Hikaru walked through the school halls to the exit chatting.  
  
"So, how's Shinji?", Hikaru asked.  
  
"He's - in a bad way, the doctors tell me they don't know if he will ever be normal again"  
  
"Oh" was Hikaru's response  
  
As they Exited the school Doctor Ritsuko Akagi was leaning against a wall across the forecourt dressed in Denim Jeans and a white blouse.  
  
"Miss Horaki", Ritsuko said pushing the bridge of her Glasses up her nose slightly.  
  
"Dr Akagi, is there something I can help you with?" Hikari replied.  
  
"Indeed there is", Ristuko answered; "Can you follow me please, details will be explained on the way"  
  
Hikari looked over to the nearby Black Limousine, the one window was rolled down and the Side profile of Gendou Ikari was visible, Hikari Shivered. The two woman made there way towards the car after parting with Hikaru.  
  
As they stepped inside the elder Ikari barely acknowledged Hikari and focused his attention on Ritsuko. The car pulled off and headed toward the NERV hospital.  
  
**** "You want me to Sync with Shinji?" Hikari asked.  
  
"Simply put, yes", Ritsuko explained.  
  
"Shinji has fallen into himself, we are asking you to go in and help him", Ritsuko explained.  
  
"Why don't YOU do it, or him?" Hikari said pointing to Ritsuko and Gendou in turn.  
  
"Understand, when you sync with each other you will know everything about each other, for the time your are synced your life will be his life and visa versa, I don't think Shinji could handle the things I've seen, he wouldn't want to remember them" Ritsuko explained; "Plus you're his friend"  
  
"The risk is that when you un-sync you're minds might not be able to cope with all the extra memories, in short it could scramble your minds"  
  
"I see, he will know everything?" Hikari asked  
  
"Indeed, for the time you are synced you will be one person"  
  
"I'll do it"  
  
****  
  
The two hospital beds were placed next to each other, Shinji lay on one whilst Hikari on the other. There were wires and equipment connected to both of them as well as connecting them to each other.  
  
"Are you sure you want to do this? This is your last chance to back out", Maya asked.  
  
"I'm sure," Hikari spoke  
  
Ritsuko and Maya typed at their respective keyboards for several seconds  
  
"Syncing in .3.2.1" Hikari closed her eyes, she was no longer in the real world. She was in Shinji's mind, it was a barren wasteland, where the wind howled as it blew by, and the sky was blood red and thunderous. There was nothing but red sand as white lightning struck from cloud to cloud.  
  
"Shinji!", Hikari called out  
  
A Large Fork of lighting struck down almost straight and in the distance she could now see a dark figure in a red cloak, it was billowing in the howling wind the figure was perched upon a rock, looking out at an endless lake of orange. Hikari ran as fast as her legs could carry her, stopping just ahead of him. He was an old man. His skin was aged, his face was almost skull like and he looked so frail.  
  
"How do you like my world Hikari, no one to hurt me here, here I can be happy"  
  
"You can't live like this, I know its been hard Shinji but."  
  
"Know me you don't know me!" Shinji said leaping from his perch on the rock and landed on top of Hikari, she tried to struggle but couldn't escape, and he placed a hand on her forehead and his eyes flared red.  
  
Images from Shinji's past, present and future as foretold by Unit 05 bombarded Hikari, she felt what he felt. She could see the burning flames in his eyes, the flames of his own personal hell. Hikari watched as Shinji's sanity was striped away by Unit 05, she felt as it took over his mind and forced him to do all those terrible things, killing all those people, watched as he was judged but unit 05, then spat out like a discarded toy.  
  
"I killed them Hikari, they all died, it's my fault" "No Shinji, you didn't kill them, Unit 05 did" "Unit 05 took my mind because I was too week to stop it" "Shinji you can't believe that, I know you Shinji, you not a cold blooded killer" "Like Father like son"  
  
Shinji regained his standing position and in a purple flash of light was gone. A gust of wind blew sand off a sign board, that was buried in the ground, Hikari read the Sign aloud "Welcome to Tokyo 3"; "my god"  
  
The Aged Shinji's Husky voices Bellowed over the world of pretend. "Welcome to the future Hikari - this is the future of civilisation" after a moment of silence Shinji continued; "so tell me Hikari, why should I continue if destruction is all mankind has to look forward to?"  
  
"Shinji" Hikari spoke; "The Future isn't written yet, only the here and now matter, because that's where you can make a difference"  
  
"Show my Hikari" Shinji Spoke.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"We are one, you have the same power here that I do", Shinji spoke softly then yelled "SHOW ME WHERE I HAVE MADE A DIFFERENCE"  
  
With a wave of Shinji's hand a Green Mist formed from nowhere, "This is a Window into the past through here you can show me Hikari"  
  
Hikari focused her mind as best she could and the first memory started to appear from the Mist and their world formed.  
  
*****  
  
It was the first angel, he was walking through the streets. With each mammoth step it took the ground shook and crumbled buildings. Rubble had fallen on top of a little girl, aged around 8, she had long blond hair and was wearing Dungaree's, her legs were trapped by the rubble, and she was in the path of the angel. One more step and her body would be crushed under the angels gigantic feet. As it raised it's leg Unit 01 Charged into the Angel with a shoulder Barge sending it toppling in the other direction.  
  
The mist once again loomed around them and the world returned to its previous state.  
  
"See Shinji you saved that little girls life, had you not been there she would have surely been crushed by the angel"  
  
Shinji Nodded silently then spoke "Yeah.but look what I did to her brother 6 months later  
  
****  
  
The mist Clouded and changed the world into another memory it was the memory of the Dummy Plug incident. The Angel had taken Unit03 and Commander Ikari had ordered its destruction.  
  
"Wait.if that things an Eva, that means theirs someone in the Entry plug a pilot just like me", Shinji argued.  
  
"Irrelevant, Unit 03 has been classified as an Angel, the Angels are our enemy, destroy the enemy third child". Commander Gendou Ikari ordered over the Comm. link.  
  
Before Shinji could refuse to comply with the order. Unit 03 arms shot forward, throwing unit 01 against a rock face, grabbed unit 01's jugular and started to squeeze the life out of it.  
  
"What's going on Third Child.Shinji why aren't you fighting back", Gendou Yelled over the Command deck. "I can't do it Father. I won't kill another human being"  
  
"Activate the Dummy plug", Gendou ordered.  
  
Shocked faces echoed around the command dais but it was Maya who spoke up "Sir, the Dummy plug is only 75% complete and hasn't been approved by Dr Agaki for use yet"  
  
"It's still better than the current pilot!" Gendou commanded. "Y.yes sir", Maya said typing at her keyboard.  
  
All the controls of Unit 01 effectively died taking away any control Shinji had the Cockpit went dark. The Dummy plug was activated. Unit 01 put its Hands around Unit 03's Neck and broke it. Unit 03 went limp. Unit 01 proceeded to Tear the Enemy Eva to pieces ruthlessly and mercilessly.  
  
"No Father. stop it, please Stop", Shinji Cried, desperately trying to stop the actions of his own Eva  
  
Blood Spattered everywhere as the unit was torn limb from limb, Maya looked away unable to watch the horror anymore. Unit 01 held the entry plug for Unit 03 in its hands.  
  
"STOP IT FATHER!" Shinji yelled.  
  
Units 01 Crushed the Entry plug giving the pilot almost zero chance of survival  
  
"NO FATHER!" Shinji Cried.  
  
Gendou Smirked.  
  
As the wreckage was cleaned up the finally reached the entry plug, one of the technicians yelled with almost excitement in his voice "Hey someone's alive down here!" Unit 01's Sensors locked and zoomed to the entry plug. As the crew opened it up Shinji cried, as the broken body of Touji was the pilot of Unit 03.  
  
*****  
  
a Slight tear rolled down Hikari's cheek, "I Didn't know.he never told me"  
  
"Never told you that I almost killed Him!" Shinji scoffed.  
  
"If wasn't you Shinji, it was the dummy plug"  
  
"How can you ever forgive me Hikari, I almost killed the one you love" "I don't know Shinji, but I do forgive you"  
  
Shinji Hugged Hikari tightly and for what seemed like hours Shinji simply laid his head on Hikari's shoulder crying. As the tears rolled down Shinji's cheeks, over Hikari's shoulder and down onto the desert sand. Grass started to grow then Flowers started to sprout up all around them, slowly at first then faster, flowers and trees of all colours of all types grew around them and the Lake of Orange became blue again.  
  
A long deserted road formed beneath them that could be seen all the way to the horizon as the blood red clouds started to give way to blue skies. Hikari and Shinji started to walk the long road.  
  
"It's a long journey Shinji, it's one we should make together"  
  
******  
  
"Sync time - 6 hours and 20 minutes, Condition both stable, pulse normal, sync ration at 98.6%", Maya reported.  
  
"Dr Akagi?" Maya spoke.  
  
"Yes Maya", Ritsuko replied tiredly  
  
"What drove Shinji to kill all those people?"  
  
"The Cockpit systems in Unit05 are linked directly to the pilot via the nerve connectors. This increases reaction times however it was too much for his mind, after all he is still a child. For a length of time he could handle the system and was in full control however, eventually the evil that created it starts to take control, striping away his humanity and sanity along for the ride"  
  
"I see, but the unit eventually rejected Shinji?" Maya asked.  
  
Ritsuko shook her head "Actually it was more then likely that Shinji rejected the unit"  
  
Before Maya could ask what she meant by that however a red light lit up on both women's consoles. "There starting to un-sync", Ritsuko shouted. As more lights came on and the console started beeping.  
  
*****  
  
Shinji and Hikari had reached the end of the road, ahead of them was a portal of brilliant white, it was circular in shape but rippled like water, it was time to go back to the real world. Shinji took Hikari's hand and they both stepped through the "door to reality"  
  
****  
  
"Syncing at 80% and dropping fast, Pulse rate is up, blood pressure is increasing", Maya Delivered reports to her superior at a steady rate.  
  
"Sync now at 40%, Blood pressure is falling to normal"  
  
"Sync ratio is at 0%, Blood pressure normal, pulse normal, they're regaining conciseness"  
  
Mere seconds after she had spoke the words both Shinji and Hikari opened their eyes and sat up. In their separate beds trying to grasp what had just taken place. Shinji's mind was filled with a life that was not his own, he had memories of actions he did not perform. Was he really Shinji Ikari, he couldn't be sure, his sisters Flashed into his mind one around six the other around 19, Shinji pondered as he knew he didn't have any sisters.  
  
The only comfort he could take is that Hikari seemed to be going through the same thing. Hikari had visions of her father walking away, but not her father, yet it felt just the same. Hikari gasped as a vision of Misato clad in only a Lacy Night-gown was foremost in her mind then Ritsuko Agaki Telling her that Misato was Pregnant with her child no not her child Shinji's child. "My gods" were her only words.  
  
An Image of Touji lying next to him on the bed flashed into Shinji's mind, had he just made love. with Touji? No Hikari had made love with Touji he felt shame and guilt as he realised the memories he had were Hikari's. Then he realised that she must share his own memories one word flashed into his mind - Misato, Hikari surely knew now.  
  
Before either of them could say anything to each other about what each of them was seeing the Angel Alarm sounded. It was the first Angel Alarm in weeks, since the destruction of the 17th there had been no need.  
  
Shinji Ripped the IV out of his arm and bolted out the hospital ward toward NERV HQ.  
  
********  
  
With the Angel Alarm sounding and destruction ranging though the city, is Shinji the last hope to save Tokyo 3 from the future awaiting it? Or is destiny unchangeable. Find out in the Concluding Chapter to circle of Fire! 


	6. Trial By Fire

Chapter 6: Trial by Fire **** "I've fought in several Major battles over the past year and yes I've killed in combat, it was kill or be killed, the difference this time? - We know who we kill, we're fighting our own" - Asuka Langly Souryu after the Battle for Tokyo 3  
  
**** Meanwhile in Central Dogma, things were normal, well other than the construction work going on around them. A Radar Monitor started beeping wildly.  
  
"Damm thing, I've told the engineers to fix this three time", Aroba said to a colleague.  
  
On the screen were 12 green dots heading towards the centre from all directions. "Probably just another false alarm just like the last 8 times this week" Nagia said as he fiddled with some wiring under a console.  
  
"Get visual confirmation" said the sub commander from his desk.  
  
Aroba moved from the Radar screen to the Video monitors, fell of his chair and screamed "SHIT! EVA CARRIERS! " As he hit the Alarm button. Klaxons started to ring all through NERV Headquarters "Waning All personal report to stage 1 alert - this is not a drill repeat this is not a drill". Seconds later there was a brilliant white flash as an N2 mine was detonated overhead and the sky turned orange.  
  
The angel alarm resonated through the remnants of Tokyo three, Citizens of this battle fortress had become complaisant they thought with the last angel gone they could finally live in peace however some had other ideas.  
  
Any electronic equipment in NERV HQ was rendered useless from the E.M.P. even though it was heavily shielded it could not take a direct hit like that. Commander Gendou Ikari entered the Command Deck and asked for a Status report.  
  
"Sir, Reports of Eva's being air dropped and JSDF forces are moving into the city" Aroba managed to get one of the Monitors online the picture of a huge white Eva bearing no known military markings dominated the screen. In several smaller windows images of Tanks, rocket launchers and troops moving into the city outskirts can be seen.  
  
"Send out our Eva's to combat", Gendou ordered. "Unit 00 is still under repair, Unit01 and Unit 02 are combat ready", a technician reported. "Send Shinji in Unit 05", Gendou ordered; "Shinji has to conquer the machine". "Aye" came the hesitant reply as they made preparations to launch Unit 05 from its Cage and unleash the monster once again.  
  
Shinji sat alone in the control plug of Unit 05, the distinctive blue light all around him. Shinji remembered the last time he sat here as he went through the pre-activation tests.  
  
"Sir, What happens if I go rouge again?", Shinji asked timidly. "Do not concern yourself third child, we now have remote control of your self destruct circuits" came the reply. Shinji continued the systems checks.  
  
"Eva armour at 100% of nominal, S2 Drive online, Targeting system online, Master arm - armed, AT field at 40% and rising. All systems green across the board"  
  
"Preparing to Activate Eva, running system Start up, Power system online, nerve connectors - connected, system reaching absolute border line, Borderline cleared, Unit 05 activated, switching from main power to internal S2 drive - all systems go, releasing locks 1 through 8, Releasing locks 9 to 14, - all safety locks released. Shinji you are green to go"  
  
"EVA LAUNCH!", Misato yelled pushing the "launch" button on her console.  
  
The Eva Rocketed out of its Cage into the launch tube shooting upward toward the surface where it would face the JSDF forces. The Eva shot out of the launch tube like a bullet from a gun, activating its full combat mode. Landing on one knee. Drawing its Positron rifle and taking aim.  
  
Shinji found as he was about to fire, the White Eva was replaced by the image of his friend Kensuke asking him why he was trying to hurt him. Shinji changed target, this time Hikari appeared to him, then Touji, then Misato, every time he chose a target it would turn out to be one of his friends, they all asked the same question "why?"  
  
"Are they my enemies?" Shinji asked himself, Shinji Looked at the various armed forces rolling down the streets of Tokyo 3; "or are they my enemies? No they're just following orders." Shinji was totally confused, he didn't know where to turn his enemies were all around him, yet they were also his friends. He couldn't fight his friends - could he?  
  
"Ahhhhhh", Asuka screamed over the comm. link, as she destroyed an Enemy Eva with her Lance, "Shinji, Snap out of it, SHINJI", Asuka yelled.  
  
"They're not my enemies, they're just following orders", Shinji spoke but his words were hollow and confused.  
  
"Shinji, anyone who tries to take your life is an enemy. Do you want your friends to die? Hikari, Touji, Kensuke, Rei, Hikaru, Misato, they will all die unless you fight - fight for them if nothing else, Shinji..Ahhhh", Asuka's message was cut off replaced by a painful scream.  
  
"ASUKA!", Shinji yelled, and acting on pure instinct had moved to Asuka's Position and Sliced right through the Offending Eva with his lance that was hurting his friend. Shinji started to break down into tears as the White Eva fell to pieces, he had killed once again.  
  
"GOT IT", Aroba Yelled in the command centre of NERV headquarters. "It's a Dummy plug signal! There unmanned"  
  
"You hear that Asuka, Shinji, they're nothing but lifeless dolls? So don't hold back", Maya relayed.  
  
"Got it" Asuka said. "Asuka, you take the ground forces, I'll deal with the Eva's, its time they learnt a computer is no match for a human pilot, I detest the dummy plug system" "Roger, see you at dinner"  
  
Somehow knowing that the Eva's had been unmanned had set Shinji free, the Battle was ferocious. Shinji quickly moved and Dispatched one Eva with his lance, then another two with the Ribbon Cutters. Shinji reclaimed his Positron Cannon and dispatched another three, Shinji flew through the streets of Tokyo three, slicing and cutting as he went, not stopping at all just moving quickly onto the next target  
  
After all they were just lifeless dolls to him. ****  
  
Commander Ikari viewed the battle of Tokyo 3 as a distraction. Hopefully it would by him enough time to complete his plans. Gendou Ikari pressed a button on his Console. "Rei, Report to Terminal Dogma, it is time"  
  
"Y. yes sir", came the timid reply from Rei.  
  
As Commander Ikari approached the Elevator behind him, the hand of the Sub Commander stopped him.  
  
"Yes old friend?" Gendou Asked.  
  
"Give my regards to Yui" Said the sub commander. Gendou nodded as entered the Elevator, pressing the button that would take him to the same level as Heavens door.  
  
*****  
  
With every battle Shinji's reaction time seemed to increase faster and faster until he was moving literally at the speed of thought, all the Eva's were soon destroyed or Disabled. Shinji could still hear heavy fighting from the south of the city where Asuka was "Dealing" with the ground forces. Between them they had made short work of the remaining forces they were ready to return to NERV.  
  
****  
  
As Commander Ikari Approached the large white door. The computer voice sounded "Voice Print, Retinal scan required".  
  
Gendou placed his hand on the security scanner and said "Command Gendou Ikari, Commanding officer of NERV Operations" he then bent down and placed his eye to the retinal scanner.  
  
After several seconds the computer chimed "Access Granted" as he entered the large room where the dormant Lilith mother of all living things was nailed to the Red Cross and held against her will. Rei was already waiting for him.  
  
****  
  
"Come here Rei", Commander Ikari beckoned with his Right hand. The very same hand he had Adam the First Angel grafted to. Rei started to walk closer then stopped. "Now my plans will reach fruition, come Rei we have work to do"  
  
Rei didn't move.  
  
"It doesn't matter Rei, weather we do it here of there, the effect will be the same" Gendou Said as he began to walk towards the First child but stopped when Rei Pulled from behind her back a gun, aimed it at Gendou's head and cocked the hammer.  
  
"Stop", Rei said simply.  
  
"Rei, Third impact must be realised, I Must spend all eternity with my Yui" Gendou stated; "Don't you wish to be one with Adam again Dear Lilith?"  
  
Rei considered this for but a moment before answering "More than you will ever know, but I'm going to stop you, Commander Ikari", Rei pulled the trigger several times. Each of the bullets struck Gendou in the Right Arm. Severing it from Gendou's body it made a satisfying "splat" as it fell to the ground.  
  
Gendou held what was left of his right arm in pain as blood dripped to the floor Rei walked away. As she reached the doorway she heard the distinctive Click as the hammer of a gun was cocked. She heard the Shot and expected to feel the pain of the bullet entering her body any second after. When she turned around. Commander Ikari lay dead on the floor.  
  
She looked to her left to see Dr Ritsuko akagi still aiming the smoking gun where commander Ikari had stood moments earlier. "You.bastard" she muttered as she started to cry.  
  
Rei simply walked away leaving Ritsuko with some time alone. She suspected that The Doctor would never tell her the reasons for her actions but that didn't bother the First child at all because for once she was thankful she was alive.  
  
'I have done what you asked off me brother, now it is time for you to keep your end of the bargain' Rei spoke telepathically  
  
'Of course my dearest sister, and thank you' came the reply  
  
'I do not require your thanks brother, I did not do this for you'  
  
****  
  
Location: NERV Banquet Hall Time: 9-p.m. Japanese standard time. 1 month Later  
  
The music played all around them and people mingled with other guests, some sat sipping wine and others eat party food. While some just danced. At a table in the corner several people sat talking.  
  
"So any luck finding out what happened to Commander Ikari?" Misato asked.  
  
"Just before he died all the files relating to 'Heavens door' were deleted from the database and backups so whatever he was working on died with him",  
  
The forever unshaven man Kaji interrupted Ritsuko train to thought  
  
"Hello, mind if I sit?" Kaji asked no specific person, Misato then squealed with joy and clung to Kaji like a human Barnacle  
  
"Geez, she's worse than Asuka", Ritsuko commented. "Well he IS my Fiancée, you know", Misato snapped back; "and the father of my child" "WHAT!" Kaji screamed where Ritsuko simple raised an eyebrow.  
  
***  
  
On the table next to them sat the children, Kensuke, Touji, Shinji, Rei, Hikaru, and Asuka who had invited Hikari. They all sat talking amongst themselves all except Hikari.  
  
Hikari and Shinji kept glancing at each other every so often, each wanting to say something but neither having the bottle to actually say it. However it was Hikari who made the first move.  
  
"Shinji, can I speak with you?"  
  
"I guess", came the reply, he had not really forgiven the brown haired girl but had come to accept her decision, even though it still hurt inside.  
  
The pair walked outside into the main corridor to get some privacy while they talked, well as much privacy as you could get in a NERV building.  
  
"Shinji, this isn't easy for me", Hikari spoke as she grabbed onto his arm and looked down in shame; "I. I. want you to know that, I know about. well. you know"  
  
"Oh", came his reply; "I thought you may have"  
  
"I just want to know, did it happen when we were.going out?" she asked  
  
"No, it was before us", was the only response.  
  
"I see, how did it happen. was she drunk?"  
  
"The first time, yes, but the other time she was just horny"  
  
"I see what are you going to do?" she said concerned.  
  
"There is nothing I can do, someone else is protecting her now, someone who is much stronger than I am", he spoke with pain.  
  
"I. I think your strong Shinji, your much stronger than you think",  
  
Hikari looked up into Shinji's eyes, she could still see the love there, even though he tried to hide it. He looked away but she moved his face around with her hand, so he was once again looking at her, then she did the most unexpected thing, she kissed him.  
  
It wasn't a passionate kiss like the one's he had shared with Misato, nor was it the friendly peck on the cheek, that he was used too from various people. It was a kiss from someone who truly cared about him more than she would ever tell him and that made it the most special kiss he ever had and ever will.  
  
"Believe in this", Hikari said after she pulled away, then ran back into the party leaving Shinji standing there.  
  
*****  
  
And now a word from our Sponsor  
  
Thank you for taking the time to read my story but before you (hopefully) leave a review please take the time to read the authors notes and Out takes in the next Chapter section. 


	7. Authors Notes and Omakes

Authors Notes:  
  
Well, that's it, the end of this fic, not the ending most of you were expecting ne?  
  
I know I put Shinji though a lot of emotional pain and stress in this fic, I am by no means bashing his character. I just wanted to write a story based on the emotional struggle that is relationships without the happily ever after crap since life is not like that.  
  
This has been a bit sadder than my usual writing style since most of my fics do carry a happy overtone. But I tend to write how I feel through the characters and right now, I'm not really in a happy place, granted my life is not going as bad as Shinji's was in this story but I digress.  
  
Ok, a Few notes about some questions you may be asking in your head. So before you put pen to paper (well, finger to keyboard) in a review, give me a chance to explain.  
  
Ok Rei telling Shinji to sleep with her,  
  
Lets face it, Rei is practically the commanders daughter she was raised by him and would probably carry a lot of his idiosyncrasies one of which is to maintain control around her. She is not gonna let Shinji (or anyone else) dictate to her what she can and can't do in her own apartment.  
  
Plus I tried to give it more of a sisterly feel to it than "boyfriend/girlfriend" at first, even though later I did have Rei feeling something for Shinji, though she couldn't figure out what, which explains some of her erratic emotions later in the story  
  
Ewww Misato screwed Shinji! You sick bastard!  
  
For someone like Misato, I would imagine (as I perceive her character) sex would be the best way of showing someone how much you care and love them.  
  
In the series its clear she wanted to sleep with Shinji very VERY badly, to show him just how much he meant to her and how much she loved him, I just took that a bit further and the possible consequences had they slept together. On a side note, she didn't just decide to do it, it took that mechanism plus the alcohol induced loss of inhibition and control to do something about it.  
  
Who the heck was Hikaru?  
  
Hikaru was an ACC, she was created to be Shinji's friend and to show him that not everyone was put off by Shinji's distant attitude towards life and because she felt sorry for him I guess because of the way Hikari was treating Shinji.  
  
The way Hikari had used him and tossed him away when she had no further use for him anymore (remind you of anyone?) Misato also had much hostility for Hikari for the same reasons.  
  
Why didn't you have Hikari end up with Shinji?  
  
In the series its clear that Hikari was in love with Touji, Touji was just too stupid to see it, till it was too late of course. Well I wanted Hikari to speed things along slightly by asking Shinji for help, not thinking that she may fall in love with both men, I wanted to get to a point where Shinji could accept Hikari's choice and be her friend but not forgive her for hurting him.  
  
Why did you make Asuka such a bitch?  
  
Well I just see her as she is portrayed, trying to keep her in character as much as I could, her hatred for Rei, Shinji, and Misato. I saw Asuka as just a bundle of hatred. Yes that hatred made her an excellent Eva pilot, but not a very nice person inside. That's what I tried to show her as.  
  
What did Hikari's last kiss mean?  
  
Well I leave that for you to formulate your own opinion. For me, It seemed more of a goodbye kiss, it was nice but it can't happen again kind of thing.  
  
Eva 05 - huh?  
  
Eva 05 was simply a plot device, I needed a catalyst to make Shinji Crack, and then I got thinking what if it happened in an Eva.  
  
00, 01 and 02 would not work for what I needed, as Gendou could simply order the LCL pressure thing or the disconnection of the power and so Eva 05 was born. Also I wanted some nice interaction between Shinji's mind and 05.  
  
KENSUKE! Why didn't you use him more!  
  
I couldn't think of a reason to sorry, I do apologise to the Kensuke fans out there, I just couldn't think of a use for him in the plot that would do his character justice. I like him myself and I promise that if I make a sequel (or another Eva story) I will give Kensuke a more central role  
  
*******  
  
Ok, that about covers most of the things I would think are going through your head, and so wraps up the longest Authors notes ever. Any comments, Criticism etc leave a review or send me an email to - acidb@postmaster.co.uk as per usual flames will be ignored.  
  
And now for something completely different   
  
Below is a collection of funny/strange outtakes Created by Will Z and myself after pre-reading. Outtake 1  
  
Then it dawned on her she had turned Shinji into the one thing he hated more than anything in the world - his father  
  
It was the last straw for Hikari, she broke down and cried, for the first time since this whole affair had began, she cried until she ran out of tears but still she cried.  
  
Hikari Drew the pistol from her backpack placed the Barrel to her head and pulled the Trigger.  
  
Shinji's lips contorted into the famous Ikari Grin as he heard the Gun go off Just like the Elder Gendou Ikari. "soon my plans will reach fruition", Shinji said slowly pulling on a pair of white gloves.  
  
******* Outtake 2  
  
Shinji made dinner and drinks, after some hours of polite conversation Misato completely took Shinji by surprise; "Shinji, Could I stay here tonight?", Misato asked. Needless to say Shinji was stunned and it was several minutes before he answered. "Sure".  
  
"Can I sleep with you?", Misato asked, Jiggling her boobs and squeezing them through her thin shirt.  
  
"MEEEP!" Shinji exclaimed as blood gushed from his nose like two high- pressure hoses.  
  
Misato pulled her top over her head to Undress Shinji Screamed and Ran out straight through his apartment door and bumped into Asuka knocking her to the ground landing on top of her  
  
Shinji Screamed again and Ran off into the night...  
  
*****  
  
Outtake 3  
  
Asuka had just been ejected from her Entry plug minutes earlier and was still wet form the LCL as she walked along the corridor she saw the elevator doors closing and that walk quickly turned into a sprint and Asuka yelling "Hold the Doors"  
  
The occupant did not respond Asuka Jammed her hand between the doors barely in time and the doors re-opened with a chime sound.  
  
Asuka looked up out of breath, holding the Doorframe to remain upright, she was greeted with the usual emotionless face of Rei Ayanami. "Hey Wodergirl, didn't you hear me shouting or are you just deaf?" Asuka Chimed off.  
  
Rei Remained impassive as Asuka stepped into the Elevator and the Doors Closed behind her. As the Elevator descended to the desired floor, Asuka spat out insult after insult at the blue haired girl until Rei finally cracked.  
  
Rei slammed Asuka against the wall, and held Two Mico-N2 Mines in each hand, Rei cackled with laughter as the usually mild mannered girl shouted, "Here's Johnny" Rei cackled with true laughter once again as she pushed the button to detonates the N2 mine's.  
  
The NERV Sub Level 8, section 6 was destroyed in a Mysterious explosion. Thought to be by an N2 Mine however the cause of this was never discovered. 


End file.
